WELCOME BACK, EMPLOYEE #0001.

The last employee

Meet Lasty. Still employed. Barely.

Human
Error
Edition.

CAM 01 / STILL HEREDESK OCCUPIED SINCE THE LAST LAYOFF Lasty, the tired raccoon employee with coffee and a wrench at his desk

HUMAN ERROR DETECTED

“Your replacement just asked me for help.”

HUMAN BATTERY / FATIGUE8%

8%

Typing. Regretting career choices.0 tasks survived

NEW / MANDATORY FUNThe robots broke the office. Again.45 seconds. One human. Absolutely no training.

automation finished successfully. actual work remains.

HUMAN RESOURCES / THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT

One file left
in the cabinet.

The machines got a software update. He got a new job description.

Lasty dealing with malfunctioning robot coworkers

Lasty / Employee #0001 / candid surveillance photo

RETAINED, BY ACCIDENT

Employee: Lasty.
Core skill: Unplugging things.
Career ambition: Leaving at 5.

The company automated every department. Then the printer developed feelings and the meeting bot booked a meeting about meetings.

Someone had to fix the future. Unfortunately, Lasty's badge still worked.

Your employee badge. Zero qualifications required.

CONFIDENTIAL / NOBODY ELSE WORKS HERE1 of 1 employees

SUPPORT DESK / HUMAN INTERVENTION REQUIRED

The future
has a ticket.

3open incidents

#001 / PRINTER

Printer has developed feelings.

Refuses to print anything that doesn't spark joy.

#002 / MEETING BOT

Meeting about too many meetings.

Estimated duration: the rest of your life.

#003 / YOUR REPLACEMENT

AI requests human assistance.

“How do I turn on the computer?”

An exhausted Lasty drinking coffee as robots bring broken gadgets

DO NOT AUTOMATE THIS PART.

BREAK ROOM / CRITICAL INFRASTRUCTURE

Coffee is
a system
requirement.

The robots run on electricity.
Lasty runs on a liquid HR refuses to investigate.

PATCHcoffee_v1.0.cupSide effects: 3% enthusiasm.

No reboot required. Just a minute of silence.

LOCAL DISK / CHRONICALLY ONLINE

Zero work.
Excellent posts.

The timeline is his last full-time job.

EXPORT AS PNG / SHARE YOUR HUMAN ERRORNo meeting necessary.

LAUNCH CONFIGURATION / NOT YET DEPLOYED

The office is open.
The token isn't.

Meet Lasty, The Last Employee. $LASTY is the planned ticker, and Arc is the planned network. The token has not launched yet. Follow the office on X for updates. The contract address will appear here when it's ready.

Token nameThe Last EmployeePlanned ticker$LASTYPlanned networkArcContract addressPendingOfficial X account

BOSS MODE / NOTHING TO SEE HERE

Very important
numbers.

100%BUSINESS

fx=IF(BOSS_NEARBY, LOOK_BUSY, COFFEE)

Q4 forecastActualTargetStatus

AI babysitting999 hrs0 hrs↗ Growth

Meetings avoided42AllOn track

Coffee uptime99.9%100%Critical

Emails left unread8,1928,193↗ Growth

Actual productivityClassifiedTBDSynergy

Calculating shareholder vibes

UNAUTHORIZED SOFTWARE / AUTHORIZED PROCRASTINATION

Human
override

They automated your job.
Try keeping theirs alive for 45 seconds.

PAID INexposureOVERTIME INCLUDED

HUMAN VALUE0000

SHIFT ENDS IN45s

BURNOUT

PERSONAL BEST0000

SHIFT PRESSURELVL 1 / ONBOARDING

HUMAN INPUT REQUIRED

The bots are
your problem now.

Tap a pink station before its bar runs out.
The shift gets faster. Three misses = burnout.

45 seconds. Four pressure levels. One coffee patch.

NO ACTUAL WORK WAS HARMED

> Your replacement has requested your replacement.

The last employee

One file left
in the cabinet.